Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
If you had told me a few years ago that I had a problem with anger, I probably would have laughed and said “yeah right”! But I have realized over the past couple of years that I DO indeed have a problem with anger. You might be asking yourself how this is possible. I have a loving, amazing husband, a wonderful son and I am doing what the Lord has called me to do WHERE He has called me to do it (as I understand and hear Him right now in my life). You would be right, I am truly blessed and I would be the first one to admit that. However, I think being human and our sinful nature doesn’t have anything to do with what our life looks like. God blesses us even when we don’t deserve it, that’s what GRACE is all about-but that is for a different post entirely. I am human and just like everyone else I struggle with sin on a daily basis.
For those of you who know me, you know I am a fairly open person. I wear my emotions on my sleeve (anger, happiness, joy, pain). When I started talking with Joel about how to deal with my temper especially, we talked about different things to do. One of my suggestions was to blog about it. However, it’s a different sort of blog. It is personal and that is not always easy. However, I really think this is something I am supposed to do. Not sure why and I am sure it will not be an easy thing to do at times, but I want to be vulnerable and I want to change, that is the bottom line.
SO, the 1st blog is about WHY I am doing this. I realized like I said that I had a problem with my anger a few years ago, but for the last year, it has been very noticeable. I realized that I did not want Simeon growing up with a mom that has a bad temper and I especially didn’t want him growing up learning that behavior. There are so many other things I want to give him, but I don’t want to give him the legacy of anger.
I look at my husband and feel he is such an example to me of someone who is constantly trying to be like Christ. I realize that is what I want to be like. Now, honestly, this is not easy. It is not easy to realize that you are lacking in certain areas of your life. In fact, there are times that I have been jealous of Joel because he is patient, kind and very tender-hearted and understanding to the needs of others. I am not like that in most situations. I am very blessed to have a husband that I can learn from. Now, he would be the 1st to say he is not perfect, but in this area, like I said, I am glad I am able to learn from him. He suggested reading through Philippians and Ephesians. I really appreciate the above verse from Ephesians. I like that it describes the ‘bad’ characteristics and then the ‘good’ characteristics and then talks about how God forgave us and that is what we should do for others. Basically we should have the attitude of Christ. I am far away from that, but I am striving for it.
I ask that if you read this blog regularly, that as you do, you would pray for me. It is not an easy endeavor to change an engrained part of who you are. Pray for change, for a likeness to Christ and an attitude of tenderness.