That Simeon...

Me: ...and Jesus, please be with Simeon tonight, touch his body and help him to feel better
Simeon:...(in the middle of the sentence) UH HUH!!!!

Reflections on Pentecost

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ² Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³ They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴ All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

⁵ Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. ⁶ When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. ⁷ Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? ⁸ Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? ⁹ Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia,^[b] 10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” ¹² Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

¹³ Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.”

I went to church today needing a touch from Jesus.  I was tired, worn out, sad, and just feeling really spent.  The words I heard when we walked in the church were "Come, Lord Jesus, Come".  I knew from earlier in the week that this was Pentecost, but I suppose like always, I forgot or it got lost in the busyness of diaper changes, reading, errands, cooking and life.  I'm sure you all understand.  I'm sure you walk into church or feel like I was feeling a lot.  I know I'm not alone.  It's been a hard month too.  With losing Patah, traveling, preparations for the future, my classes, finding out once again I'm not pregnant, there is a lot of burden and sorry I have been carrying.  Like I said, I felt...spent.  

I suppose this might have lead to a feeling of needing Jesus.  I mean, we always tell ourselves we're fine and we can do it.  We know Jesus is in control, blah, blah, blah, but I suppose when you feel the way I was, you come to a point when you just need Jesus, you need His touch, you need His power, and yes HIS SPIRIT.  

I've read this passage a lot in my life and heard different sermons on it as well.  There was something different about today.  I knew as soon as I read the passage for the sermon that today I was going to hear from God.  The realization I came to is that I'm not living my life as someone who has received the Holy Spirit.  Don't worry, that doesn't scare me and it shouldn't scare you either, but it did bring me to a point where I know I need to change.  Life gets in the way, yes, even ministry gets in the way sometimes.  I am not exempt from this just because I am a missionary.  God's spirit, the one that called me to Him and the one that gave me my call to be a missionary has somehow gotten lost in my everyday life. The believers at Pentecost couldn't HELP being overcome in their very beings by what was going on around them.  Why should I be any different?  Sure I'm not experiencing exactly what they did, but I am a recipient of the Holy Spirit, I know God has breathed breath into my life time after time.  I just want to live that way, daily!  I know ministry is difficult.  I know everyday life gets in the way.  But I so want to live each day as someone who is living proof of Jesus' work.

All who are thirsty

All who are weak

Come to the fountain

Dip your heart in the stream of life

Let the pain and the sorrow

Be washed away

In the waves of his mercy

As deep cries out to deep (we sing)

Come Lord Jesus come

Iguana Park in Guayaquil

Not too many 2 year olds can say they touched an iguana up close and personal!  Only in Ecuador!

A Tribute to Patah!

May 11th will always be known in our house as our anniversary.  But May 10th will be known forever as a sad day, the day where we lost our sweet dog Patah.
Patah was born along with her sister Hireq and 3 other siblings in June of 2004 in Middleberry, Indiana.  We were able to bring them home in September of that year.  I (Kim) remember going to their first home in Middleberry to see them for the first time.  They were all so small, but the reason we picked them both was because Patah was the runt of the litter and just a little smaller than the others, with a smashed in nose.  Hireq looked just a little different from the others and that's why we chose her.  Their parents were a mix between Pomeranian and Poodle.  Patah definitely got the more poodle features, while Hireq looks more Pomeranian.  We decided to get 2 puppies because both of us worked so much that we wanted them to have each other as company.  Although they loved each other, they occasionally had their fights too-especially over chew bones.
Some of their favorite things to do together were chasing each other, taking naps together, looking out the windows of whatever apartment or house we lived in, and getting in to mischief together. They were quite the partners in crime.
Patah will always be remembered as the cuddler.  She would always curl up next to you when you had a hard day and needed some love, when it was cold outside or when you laid down to watch TV or sleep.  She would usually settle by my tummy and Hireq by my legs.  I remember Patah was always there after a hard day of work, clinicals or class.  She always was one for licking your face-even when you were crying.
I remember when we brought Simeon home from the hospital.  Hireq wasn't quite sure what to do with him.  She would go to his bassinet and sniff him.  Patah, like with most other people-she just wanted to lick him-probably to make him feel like one of the family!
Patah was always kind of the nervous nelly-especially in the car.  Even during a 15 hour car trip from Chicago to Hilton Head, she never once sat down because she was so nervous.  She also wanted to be close to someone during car trips so she would always be on a someone's lap-usually the driver.  She also got really nervous at vet visits and the groomer.  Probably just because she was separated either from us or Hireq.
I think it is probably always hard to lose a pet, especially one that has been with you for a long time.  She would have been 8 years old in June.  She really was with us for the majority of our marriage.  Our lives are going to be a lot different without her.  We have already noticed it in a lot of things.  Usually her and Hireq chase each other in any free space they had.  It's been really hard to just see Hireq run around and although Simeon tries to chase her like Patah, its just not the same.
Our car ride here was much different as well.  The windows didn't fog up nearly like normal and it was a lot quieter without the pants of Patah, but we really missed them.  There seems to be quite and empty space at the end of the bed without Patah as well.
Our sweet Patah, we miss you very much and our lives just aren't the same without you.  Please know that we love you so much.  Thank you for being such a wonderful and loving member of our family.  WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU!

This week, on May 11, we will celebrating our 10th anniversary!  It seems pretty hard to believe we have been married for 10 years.  It seems like just yesterday we were walking down the aisle.  We thought in honor of this  big event, we would each write a post about a few things we have learned.  Mine may not be nearly as sweet as Joel's, but I will do my best.  Believe me, I am not an expert for sure!  It has taken 10 years to just realize some of these things...

Our pastor that married us, Dr. (Umfundisis) Lo told us that your life should be lives in this order: God, Spouse/Family, Ministry.  This seems pretty easy, but it is some of the best advice we received.  When you arrange your life like this and live it out-it is balanced.  We are still working on balance, but we are trying!


We were given another piece of advance many years ago that was a simple 2 words..."STAY CURRENT".  It seems simple enough, but not always easy.  It basically means stay current with what you are feeling.  If you are frustrated-talk to your spouse about it, if you are mad about something or can't get something off your mind-share it with your spouse.  It is much easier to have a 30 minute conversation, discussion or argument about 1 thing than a 5 hour conversation, discussion or argument about 10 things.  It's a lot less overwhelming for the other person as well.

Another thing we have learned is "FUN IS A GOOD THING!"  Sometimes all of us are guilty of getting caught up in the busyness of life.  We started out that way in our marriage-moving to Chicago, starting new jobs, starting school and a new church all within 3 months.  We did a similar thing when moving here, but some of the best times to just stop everything and go do something fun is the most stressful and busy times.  God didn't intend us to work all the time and we shouldn't-we need to relax and let go sometimes-even if it just a walk together, dinner together or a movie.  The point is your together with NO work!

Another thing that has gotten lost in the shuffle at times in our lives is prayer.  However, we daily see our need for it and it is something I have tried to work on more.  Praying for your spouse is so huge!  We all know we get frustrated with our spouses, and sometimes the only thing to do is pray.  This is such an intimate way to connect with our God and with our spouse, sometimes without our spouse even being there.  Sometimes it's just good to hear the words "I prayed for you today" also.

Learn to say "I'm sorry"  and "I forgive you".  We all like to be right.  I really like to be right.  However, I realized when I married a smart guy that I am usually wrong more times than right.  But that doesn't stop me from trying to prove I'm right.  It's taken me a long time to realize that I don't need to be right, sometimes you just need to say "I'm sorry".  Also, when you're in a situation where you have been hurt by your spouse, saying I forgive you and letting it go will go a long way.

I am a selfish person.  It didn't take long after we got married to realize that.  Joel does a great job putting my needs before his, but it has taken me a lot longer to understand how to deal with my selfishness in marriage.  I have to make a concerted effort to put Joel before me.  (That's not very easy to admit).  I have learned in more than just this area that my husband is a great example to me!  He is an example of unselfishness and unconditional love.  I like learning from him and he's a good teacher and example (Thanks honey!)

The old saying "you can't change people" is only half right in my book.  One thing you quickly learn in marriage is that you can't hide things about who you are.  It will eventually come out.  I think the key to this is then being able to accept what happens when those things come out.  For me, being willing to accept constructive criticism was not easy.  Especially when I started realizing that what Joel was telling me was right on.  Sometimes OUR views of how we appear to others is very different than how we actually are.  All this to say, be willing to accept criticism.  The majority of the time, you spouse is not saying these things to upset you, they are doing it to make you a better you.  None of us are perfect, but we can try to be better and sometimes just trying to BE better helps so much more.  You may not be able to change who you are, but you can work on making YOU better!  The 2nd best person to help with that is your spouse...(Jesus is the 1st).

COMPROMISE!  Remember when I said we all like to be right?  Sometimes we can't be, sometimes we shouldn't be.  I think one of the biggest things I have learned is compromise.  This means sometimes giving up what you want for the greater family good.  Learn this quickly and you will save yourselves a lot of discussions later.

Encourage each other.  Sometimes in ministry, work, family and all of the things of life, life itself just gets you down.  Sometimes just knowing someone is fighting for you and is in your corner means the world-it doesn't have to be big-a not in a lunch, an email or text, etc can make bummer days better!

Learn what is important to your spouse.  If it is sports-find something you can do together, if it's reading-go read somewhere together, if it's quiet time alone-give time to the other person.  Learning what is important to your spouse even when it is different than what is important to you is good.  Joel loves to work-it's what he does and he is good at it.  There are some days he needs to do that or he gets stressed-it has again taken me a long time to not get upset by this.  I know he would rather be spending time with the fam, but sometimes he needs to work.  When I learned to not get upset or take it personally when he worked-it made things a lot easier.  We are still trying to work on balance between work and fun!

When your spouse does something that makes you happy-tell them, thank them!  Joel has been so good to me in this way.  He randomly gets flowers and sends me notes because he knows I love this.  It may be little things, but when you know you're doing something right, it's nice to hear it!

Work together.  Sometimes being willing to admit you need help isn't all that bad.  It's easier to split work between 2 people as opposed to just one.  Don't be a martyr.  You don't have to have perfect meals all the time or a perfect manicured lawn.  There are a lot of things that make a house function and splitting that up by working together is good.  It will also give you more free time together.

Sometimes you need to do things out of your comfort zone.  I am not a planner- I never really have been and since Joel is a great planner-I usually let him do the planning.  Sometimes though, he gets busy and needs help and I have to do things that he is better at.  DO IT!  Help your spouse.  Even in simple things this can help so much

You need boundaries.  In ministry, in work, in family, etc sometimes it's OK to say "no" when someone asks you to do something.  Sometimes it's OK to say "I need time with my family, I need a date night with my husband, etc.

Never be too proud to ask for help or to accept help when people offer.  Our friend told us this one time realizing something in us we hadn't really seen.  When you life is ministry and serving others, it is not always easy to allow others to help you.  This is not to say we are these great missionaries that just give, give, give.  Please don't think we think of ourselves that way, but it was very humbling the first time we learned to receive help from others.  Our friend explained that sometimes people want to bless you and you need to allow them to because that is a way God is using them.  Never be too proud to be humbled by the acts of others.  Also, when you see someone else who needs help-offer, really offer allowing them to accept.  For instance, an older lady in our home church gave us money (a lot of money to us poor kids in school) to go out for an evening together.  We said we couldn't accept this and she said-please let me do this.  You are preparing for God's ministry and this is one way God is allowing me to minister.  Like I said...very humbling!

Unfortunately, there is a lot more that I have learned, but I will continue that another time.  I am SO excited for what I have learned in the last 10 years and for what Joel has taught me over the last 10 years.  He truly is an example to me and I am SO thankful that God has allowed me to be his wife.  Thank you Joelie for a great 10 years-and prayers for many, many more!

A 10th Anniversary Post from me to you

I don't usually post on this blog and in reality I call it "your blog" (to Kim), not because I don't care about it but rather because I see it as one of Kim's wonderful ways that she has to express herself and keep in contact with friends.  But Kim and my 10th Anniversary is coming up on May 11th and I thought it might be nice to include something here about marriage as we are in a time of reflecting on 10 years of marriage.  Not that I know that much in comparison to our parents and others that we look up to that have many, many more years of happy marriage but I thought I might share a little bit of what I have learned over the course of 10 years.  So without further ado, my top 10 ten list of keys to a happy marriage:

1. Keep your focus on God!  The more that you both are able to keep your focus on God and His teachings, the happier you both will be.  A family that is centered on the Word and the Church will have proper focus and a proper vision for what their relationships should look like.

2. It's the little things that count and mean the most that show your wife that you love her and are thinking about her: Flowers when not expecting them.  An unplanned date night. Taking the kid to the park so that way she can stay back to work on something she needs to or just relax.

3. Always be thinking what would make your wife happy.  For Christians, this seems like the most obvious one that should come natural to us in that we are considering the needs of others before ourselves.  But unfortunately, when it comes to marriage, it can be the toughest one because deep down we are all selfish people who make selfish decisions and its easiest to be selfish with the person you are closest to. In the end, if you follow the example of Christ, one should be always looking to the needs of his wife for how to use that extra money, where to go out to eat, where and with him to spend your free time, etc.

4. Keep talking and keep listening!  When marriages get bad is when the couples stop trying to work through their difficulties and decide that she is never going to change.  Marriage is the most difficult yet the most wonderful, joy-giving relationship you will ever have.  You have to keep talking to make your spouse a better person.  You need to keep listening and encouraging her to talk about her frustrations so that way you can understand and you can become a better person.  This is a lot of hard work and those who are truly happy in their marriages have figured it out.  The Bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger so maybe we should listen to the Bible.

5. Tell your wife she looks beautiful without her needing to ask how she looks before leaving the house.

6. Take time for your wife.  I've kind of already talked about this one but I think it's so important that I want to separate it as its own point.  Be honest with yourself... take a day when you are not working and go through the day recording everything you do and the amount of time you spend doing it.  Take a look at this record at the end of the day and see how much time you spent on things that revolve around yourself and how much time was spent on things for your wife.  You will probably be surprised!  Time is the most important thing these days and the more time you invest in your relationship, the happier you both will be.

7. No laundry lists please!  You need to forgive and forget and move on.  Yes, there can be some deep pains in marriage but once your wife has truly repented for something and you have forgiven her for it, you need to forget also.  Bringing up the laundry lists of all the things she has done wrong in the past will not help anyone.  You need to move forward together in your marriage.

8. Have a vision for ministry.  I believe that whether you are a pastor, missionary or involved in any other form of paid ministry or not, you need to seek a sense of call for service in the church: individually but also as a couple.  Again, when a family is focused on God and the Church or in this case ministry, life's small difficulties and troubles don't seem as important plus you have the church community around you to support you.

9. Setup a date night for once per week.  This is one area that I have to admit that I have not been successful in keeping our commitment to.  It's my fault.  I'm the workaholic that doesn't think to keep the fun aspect of our marriage going.  But that's also why I have a wonderful wife who does stress this side of things and helps me to relax and enjoy ourselves every once in a while.

10. When you know your wife has been working on fixing something or just doing something well in some area, tell her that you are proud of her and that you appreciate all her hard work.  Again, it seems obvious but there's a lot that seems obvious about marriage which many married couples don't do well.  Complementing your wife for something that she has been working hard on or some accomplishment will make her very happy!

Kim... I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to learn many of these things and that I still fall short in our marriage.  I love you very much and I'm so happy that God blessed me by allowing me to be your husband 10 years ago.  Happy Anniversary honey!!!