The Delp Details

Friday, January 22, 2010

In the mind of a soon to be mother...


as you may well imagine is a very scattered place. I suppose that is how I am feeling...scattered. I know there are many, MANY things that need to be done, but most days I would rather not do them. My mind is also overwhelmed. To think of being responsible for every single need of another human being is overwhelming. To think of raising a child in the ways of Jesus and attempting to live that out every day is overwhelming. Believe me, I am not one of those people who thinks I am perfect, I know I will fail often, but it seems like failure is so much less of an option when raising children.

I admit, when you think you have 9 months to work through your emotions regarding becoming a parent, I thought I had plenty of time. I realize other things have gotten in the way and now is the time I am attempting to understand these emotions I have had the last 9 months.

The other overwhelming feelings of just not feeling ready are there often as well. We aren't really getting a nursery together, only because we will be here for such a short time before we move to Ecuador, but I am still trying to think of how to make a place.

I am not naive enough to think I am the only one who has ever felt this way as a soon to be mother. I see every day in my job people much less fortunate, much less prepared than I, but maybe that is because the standard of what I want to be as a parent is high.

I pray that I will not try to do all of this on my own. THAT is overwhelming, but I need to have the constant reminder that God is in control, I am not, and that HE needs to be my guide and my compass. I know this will not be easy, but I know God has given us this child and that is my comfort.

A musing from a mom to be...

3 comments:

yan+starla said...

We hope you can also take comfort in that we, as with many others, are lifting the three of you up to God in our prayers.

Erin Crisp said...

congrats to you Kim! I actually came to your blog to let you know about this urgent need from friends of ours. You were the first person that came to mind, but being so close to due date, I doubt you're up for an adventure right now. I'll leave the link in case you know someone else who has the right qualifications. Congrats on your journey into motherhood. http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2010/01/off-we-go-again.html

Jodi said...

you are ready. :)